Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

26 01 2011

In the words of the great Elton John…’sorry seems to be the hardest word’.

Yet sorry seems to be a very easy word for those who use it as a regular excuse for their behaviour.

Sorry is one of those words that some people use automatically in an attempt to keep the peace – without really considering the true meaning of the word.

I know people who are so unreliable that sorry is usually the first word out of their mouths…long before they even know what you want to say to them!

They have become so used to being berated for letting others down; that sorry has become their mantra and often they have no idea what they are saying sorry for!

In some cases, the other person is totally unaware that their words or behaviour have hurt us in some way. At times like this, we owe it to ourselves and to the perpetrator to be honest about how we feel.

Rather than blindly accuse them of doing us wrong, we need to gently explain the effect their words or actions have had on us. We need to own our hurt instead of blaming them. This way they will less defensive and will be far more prepared to listen to our point of view.

Whether or not an apology is forthcoming, we are ultimately responsible for the way we feel. Perceived hurts often result when our expectations have been dashed for some reason.

In many instances, the other person has no idea what our expectations are, and it would be very unfair to expect someone to live up to ideals of which they are totally unaware.

If someone has unwittingly caused us pain, we cannot always expect an apology as it may well have been a misunderstanding on our part. Sometimes, just by listening to another’s point of view we are able to release any hurt or resentment we may have been holding onto.

Sorry often goes hand-in-hand with forgiveness.

 

Firstly, we need to forgive ourselves for allowing someone to hurt us in this way. Only then we can forgive the other person. And by doing so, we are able to free ourselves from holding a grievance that would eventually hurt us far more than the other person.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”…Gandhi

Insincere apologies can always be detected and when we say sorry, we need to ensure that we really mean it. A heartfelt apology can melt away all grievances, anger and hatred…and can heal a million hurts.

Day 26 – 365 Days of Celebration

Today I celebrate the honesty and courage of those who find it in their hearts to make a sincere apology for any hurt they may have caused another.

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7 responses

26 01 2011
ElizOF

I love the Gandhi quote very much… It does take strength of character to forgive and to know when we have hurt another and apologize sincerely. The sad part is that while this should be common sense, it isn’t for certain people. The emotional vampires just hurl their stuff around.
Thank you!

26 01 2011
frizztext

thanks for mentioning this great song –
I always liked the version from Suzy Boguss and Chet Atkins too …

27 01 2011
1961 Girl

Yes…it is a lovely song…one of his best in my opinion (apart from Daniel…!). Glad you liked the post – thank you.

26 01 2011
Piglet in Portugal

I also love the Gandhi quote…

Sorry is such an overused empty word.

27 01 2011
1961 Girl

I agree…Sorry is a very overused word.

Unless we really mean it, it is best if we say nothing as empty words have a hollow ring.

27 01 2011
frizztext


listen …

4 02 2011
Knight

You write very touching and beautiful blogs that touch my heart. Thank you.
This clicked up today for some reason on the bottom of my screen. 4 Feb

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