Child’s Play

17 02 2011

Over the past couple of days I’ve talked about connecting with my ‘inner child’ and today is the day I have promised that I would let her out to play.

When I awoke this morning, I asked my ‘child’ what she would like to do today.

Her answer was that she just wanted to ‘go with the flow’ – to chill – and take things easy for a change.

She said that she wanted my undivided attention and that I was to ignore the ‘chattering gremlin’ who sits on my shoulder all day long, shouting instructions about what I ‘should’ be doing if I want to be…

•          Loved

•          Respected

•          Noticed

•          Fulfilled

•          Accepted

She knows that I am constantly bombarded by his never ending fear based demands – all adding constant pressure to my days and restlessness to my nights. With her encouragement, it feels great to tell him to ‘shut up’ and take the day off – leaving us free to enjoy our day together without his constant interruptions.

Being with my ‘inner child’ is like spending time with a new friend. Step by tiny step – she is taking me by the hand and leading me back to myself. A beautiful friendship is beginning to develop as we begin to get to know and understand each other.

This morning she has taken me to a ‘flow yoga’ class – because she loves the freedom of movement and the sense of well-being it brings. She also likes listening to the inspirational teacher who makes her smile and encourages her to feel good about herself.

Leading me back home she encourages me to put on a long forgotten CD called ‘Charka Dancing’ – buried at the bottom of the music pile. Turning it up to full volume we are dancing together around the house and suddenly housework seems like a fun thing to do!

Food is next on her list and she encourages me to raid the fridge for a ‘ready, steady, cook’ challenge of creating a colourful and healthy meal out of the bits and pieces of food found lurking in farthest recesses of the (almost) empty shelves.

Needing a little rest after helping to prepare our lunch, she sits me down and shows me how to focus on enjoying a TV programme without trying to do half a dozen other tasks at the same time.

Having recharged her batteries, she wants to go back out to play and leads me down to the riverbank to say ‘hello’ to the swans – my beautiful ‘Angels of the River’.

Sitting on the steps of the house – we hold hands to watch the sun go down and together we offer our grateful thanks to the universe for giving us such a beautiful day to spend together.

Day 48 – 365 Days of Celebration

Today I am celebrating the delights of becoming reacquainted with my inner child…my best friend…it is so good to meet you again.





Make Them Hate You!

7 02 2011

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”

 ~Booker T. Washington

Someone said to me recently…”If you want to hurt someone – make him hate you”.

Rather harsh…but true.

When I look back to the times when I’ve been hurting badly, I was invariably holding onto my hate of the person whom I believed had betrayed my trust in some way.

Yet I was the one – not them – who was suffering as a result of the negative feelings I was harbouring.

No matter how much anger I would project in their direction, they just merrily went about their business, totally unaffected by my hateful thoughts – and oblivious to how I was feeling towards them.

If I had continued to hold onto these hateful thoughts and negative feelings – ultimately it would have been me who paid the price of my resentment

My anger would have festered, causing me stress and angst…possibly resulting in a bout of illness or dis-ease.

Forgiveness is the key in ALL instances…no matter how badly someone may have treated us. I learnt this lesson many years ago and I am now quick to forgive people.

Sometimes I was my own worst enemy by forgiving someone to such an extent that I allowed them back into my life – when I really needed to let them go.

And if no lessons were learnt the first time around – the whole destructive cycle would kick off all over again. 

The first time I allowed this to happen…it was a mistake.

The second time…it was total stupidity

The third time…it was just complete madness

There is a lot to be said for ‘loving someone from a distance’…and this has been a hard lesson for me to learn as it often means saying ‘goodbye’ to people who I still care about in many ways.

But…for their sake…and for mine…it is important to recognise when it is time to break the cycle and to kiss them goodbye…with love.

So from now on – if the transgression is serious enough – it will be one count and they will be out

…after I’ve forgiven them of course!

Day 39 – 365 Days of Celebration

Today I will be celebrating the power of forgiveness – for setting me free.





Personal Freedom

5 02 2011

Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Viktor E.Frankl

We hear a lot of talk about Personal Freedom – but what does this really mean?

In his best selling book, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ – based upon his experience of being incarcerated in a Nazi concentration camp during the second world war – Frankl observed that those most likely to survive these inhumane conditions were the ones who could still find some meaning to their lives – in spite of their external circumstances.

During my life, I have often found myself in difficult situations that I would have preferred not to be in!

Being challenged by outside circumstances beyond my control – I learnt that the only ‘control’ I do have – is over my own thoughts and emotions.

Whenever I find myself in such a place, I maintain my sense of Personal Freedom by disengaging from the emotion of the situation and releasing any desire to try and  ‘control’ the outcome.

My definition of Personal Freedom is remembering that I have the Choice – to honour myself and my needs – over and above any external demands being made on me.

And with this Choice comes Personal Responsibility. 

By learning to value myself and to understand that my time is precious – I am choosing to spend more time doing the things I love and to be with the people I care about the most. 

Knowing that I have the power to choose how I view and respond to a situation at any given time makes all the difference in the quality of my life’s experience. 

I can choose to see beyond the immediate drama and recognise the lesson – or opportunity – contained within the situation…

…or I can choose to get involved in the performance and let it affect my sense of self and my enjoyment of the moment. 

Personal Freedom…It’s Our Choice!

Day 36 – 365 Days of Celebration

Today I will be celebrating by choosing do to the things I love – with the people I love to do them with the most!





To Thy Own Self Be True

4 02 2011

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best – night and day – to make you somebody else; means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight. 
~ e.e. cummings 1955

When we are alone…it is easy to be true to our self.

But holding onto our sense of self within a relationship – without getting lost – is a different matter entirely.

It is so easy to say “just be yourself” – and yet it is one of life’s greatest challenges to actually be so.

For most of my life I’ve tried to fit other’s peoples expectations of who I thought they wanted me to be.

With a huge insecurity and a need to be ‘liked’…I would wear the appropriate mask to fit each occasion.

I courted other people’s good opinion in a vain attempt to validate my existence by suppressing my own needs to meet another’s.

I allowed myself to become a victim…so that I could blame the other…when one bullying relationship after another crashed and burned.

I learnt to dance to so many different tunes…I could have created my own solo dance troupe!

Deep down, I knew I was a long way from being true to myself.

I knew something had to change, but I didn’t know what…or how.

I had become an accomplished chameleon, changing colours with such frequency; I no longer knew who I was.

 

I understood that a certain amount of compromise in a relationship was to be expected; but there is a huge difference between compromise and selling one’s soul to please another.

Consciously – or subconsciously – many of us play games with each other in order to get what we want.

We are the victim…or the abuser – or we flit between the two.

We recognise the pattern in other people and fail to see it in ourselves.

We hide our true light in an attempt to be accepted…or to fit within someone else’s definition of who they think we are.

Living our personal truth is a real challenge as it often means having to let go of those on whom we’ve become co-dependant.

And the thought of letting go can be a scarier prospect than staying put…so we remain stuck in destructive relationships that rob us of who we truly are.

Stepping into our personal power takes a lot of courage as it requires a huge leap of faith to choose to walk our path alone.

And as I walk slowly back towards myself, I begin to stand straighter and walk tall as my old way of being fades to grey and I begin to see myself in glorious Technicolor.

Like a long lost friend…I am returning home to myself…where I belong.

Day 35 – 365 Days of Celebration

Today I will celebrate by welcoming myself back home…I’ve missed you babe!